Asking Questions That Lead to Better Spending Decisions with Jeff Wetzler – EP 404

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We were conditioned to prioritize independence and self-sufficiency, sometimes at the expense of nurturing meaningful relationships. In this episode, Jen and Jill encourage us to refine our ways of asking the people in our lives, which results in better spending decisions. Joined by Jeff Wetzler, they explore the “ask approach” and its significance in self-awareness and connecting with others.

It’s not just about connecting with the people around us so we can personally be better, but the approach is mutual–it makes us better together.


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Jeff Wetzler has been on a quarter-century quest to transform learning opportunities. Blending a unique set of leadership experiences in the fields of business and education, he’s pursued this quest as a management consultant, a learning facilitator, as Chief Learning Officer, and most recently, as co-CEO of Transcend, a nationally recognized innovation organization. Jeff earned a Doctorate in Adult Learning and Leadership from Columbia University and a Bachelor’s in Psychology from Brown University. He lives in New York with his wife, two children, and their puppy.

All About The "Ask Approach"

The Ask Approach is a method for harnessing the wisdom and insights of those around us, such as coworkers, friends, and family. Recognizing the valuable knowledge and perspectives they possess, Jeff describes this approach as a way to facilitate more effective learning and collaboration.

The approach comprises five key steps: choosing curiosity by actively seeking to learn from others, creating a safe environment for open conversations, posing quality questions to extract valuable insights, listening attentively to truly understand, and finally, reflecting on and sharing takeaways to deepen connections and learning. This approach aims to maximize learning opportunities and foster meaningful interactions by tapping into the wisdom within our social circles.

Asking For Financial Wisdom

Talking about finances can be a sensitive topic for some. Jeff mentions that the first part of gleaning for financial wisdom from others is to establish safety in the connection we have with somebody. For instance, Jeff shares that with his daughter, waiting until she’s finished her homework and spending time in her room fosters a safe environment for conversation as for her daughter, her room is her safe space. Additionally, explaining the motivation behind the questions can help alleviate suspicions and enhance trust in the interaction.

Knowing Quality Questions

Jeff emphasizes the significance of posing quality questions to get financial insights, stressing the creation of a safe environment for opening up by expressing genuine appreciation and assuring constructive feedback. Creating deeper understanding by exploring the reasoning behind perspectives and fostering connection through shared personal experiences. Jeff encourages explicitly requesting reactions and inviting ideas to facilitate active participation and comprehensive consideration of all viewpoints.

It Starts With Ourselves

The Ask approach offers three benefits: achieving results, making smarter decisions, and generating more innovative solutions. It saves time by swiftly determining the viability of ideas and fosters deeper relationships as people feel valued when asked for input.

Jeff claims that this approach not only enhances personal and professional relationships but also facilitates faster learning and growth. Jeff suggests applying the Ask approach to self-discovery by examining our internal narratives and questioning their origins and implications, thus adding introspection and self-awareness alongside learning from others.

The most interesting question you’ve been asked (can be the weirdest/hardest/best) and your answer

  • Jeff: “Why would you ever think that’s a good idea?” from my son
  • Jill: “Who dis?”
  • Jen: “Would you be against holding a chat or call discussing your business in detail and the game plan?” – This email is titled the Devil and Angel.

Get more from Jeff

Ask | Jeff Wetzler
Jeff’s Instagram: @AskApproach

Bill of The Week

Thank you Jeff for sharing your bill about Bill Nye the science guy – the embodiment of curiosity!

Thanks so Much for Listening!

Thanks so much for listening. Many of you know we have a newsletter called The Friendletter that goes out 3x a week where we send out freebies, saving tips, and life hacks to help you save money. We want to give a shout out to this friend for replying to us this sweet email:

This email from Misti resonated with me because I did not redeem my Sephora or Ulta birthday gifts last year. I’m sure I missed some more but those are the ones I normally always redeem. I do think we need to plan out how to maximize our birthday rewards. I wonder if someone has made a checklist of birthday rewards for national chains. Thanks for making Monday a little brighter and happy Monday!

Thanks for listening if you want freebies, saving tips, and values-based spending hacks sent to your inbox every week register on the Friendletter to get the goodies! And if you’re already in the Friendletter start sharing it with your friends to get more free goodies!

And don’t forget to share your favorite quote from the episode by using the hashtag #FrugalFriendsNote. 😉

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