Being Frugal With a “Non-Frugal” Partner – EP 231

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Finding the middle ground when you’re frugal with a non-frugal partner can be quite difficult but a key component of a successful relationship is compromise. In this episode, we discuss tools, questions, and actions you can do with your partner that understands this as more than just a behavior issue but a deeper-rooted one.

True freedom is living however I want and having enough time to do it.


  • National Middle Child Day. Today is national middle child day and we want to celebrate this day on the show not only because those children who are not the oldest but also not the baby, and who are probably, arguably, the most put together sibling in the family is rarely recognized because they cause absolutely no drama, but because Jill is a middle child. As a middle child, you probably get the least attention in your family so you’re going to want to take care of yourself by opening a high-yield savings account. Right now CIT Bank’s Savings Connect account is offering 1.35% APY. Head to and stash money away that your family doesn’t know about.

What To Do If You’re More Frugal Than Your Partner

Difference in the way of handling our own money and our spouse is inevitable but it can be solved by recognizing these differences and meeting each other halfway. Crunchy Tales wrote in an article some of the ways how to understand your partner better and create realistic goals for both of you. 

What Jen + Jill have to say:

Jill firmly agrees on recognizing and embracing contrasting ways of handling differences with your spouse. Make time to talk about your backgrounds, specifically your money stories starting from our childhood, in order to understand where your partner is coming from, and vice versa. Jill also advises documenting one another such as your long-term goals, spendings, savings, and more.

Jen believes in compromising, forgiveness and love as a part of the journey to successful relationships. This can be initiated by creating goals and middle-ground strategies. Jen & Jill enjoyed identifying each other’s money personalities (ie. nurturer, epicurean, independent, producer, and visionary). 

How to Protect Yourself When a Spouse Mishandles Money

There are cases wherein it’s more than just surface-level money issues and this article from CS Monitor lists certain situations to help recognize, normalize and give solutions and preventive measures to overcome them.

What Jen + Jill have to say:

Cases such as refusing to talk about spending, utilizing credit cards, overspending, and secretive purchases are circumstances wherein you can’t just solve in a finger snap. Jill adds that these might be rooted in addiction, trauma or a deeper level issue someone may have so it is only important to normalize and validate how these circumstances can happen to anyone. Jen understands how essential it is to recognize these issues and no one should be shamed in doing so.

Jen wants you to check your credit report first then your spouse’s. Make sure no credit cards have been opened without your knowledge. Most importantly, set up a Roth IRA for yourself–everyone needs to have it (non-working spouses are eligible). Jill advises to open up a separate savings account in your name and set up automatic transfer for easier management.

Are you the frugal or the non-frugal partner in your relationship?

Jill is the more frugal while Jen is the less frugal partner.

Bill of The Week

Thank you Kelli for sharing your bill about BILL CURTIS!! YAY for uncle Bill Curtis who is recovering from a stroke

Thanks so Much for Listening!

Thanks so much for listening! Many of you know we have a private community where we do monthly money challenges and offer accountability groups. We want to congratulate one of our members for a big win:

I have never negotiated a bill before.

I’ve never had the capital to be in the position to negotiate, nor have I ever known it was a thing I could do! At one point in the Spending Symposium, one of the speakers, talked about negotiating their first medical bill.

I had an epiphany about this and was facing a more than $2,000 bill for my daughter’s gastronomy procedure! I have yet to meet my deductible for the year, so I was forced to pay the entire amount out of pocket. Since I heard I could negotiate, I asked the billing lady what my options were! Since I offered to pay the bill in full, they offered me a 20% discount for the entire bill! I put the whole amount on my credit card and paid it off the next day from my savings! I also get 2% cash back on all purchases, so the $1,500 bill gave me an additional $30 back in my Rewards account And…. Because I have the HSA, the payment was made with tax free money!

Congrats! Thanks for listening and if you want to check out our monthly challenge community head to to see what challenge we have coming up next.

Keep leaving us reviews on iTunes or Stitcher, and sending the screenshot to And don’t forget to share your favorite quote from the episode by using the hashtag #FrugalFriendsNote. 😉

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