How Your Parent’s Finances Affect You And What to do Next – EP 285

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Money can be a tough subject to talk about but it’s time to open up the discussion about the relationship between our parent’s finances and the money habits we have today. In this episode, we encourage our frugal friends to embrace the awkward yet meaningful conversations about how our parent’s finances have shaped us and how we can continue to make smart decisions with our own money. 

We first have to look at the foundational pieces to know what needs to be reworked.

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How Your Parents' Beliefs About Money Affect You

This article from Psychology Today described our parents’ attitude and perspective on money which impacts us more than we let on. 

What Jen + Jill have to say:

Our financial habits form over a lifetime. While the article mentions money scripts from a study, Jill emphasizes that money scripts (i.e money worship, money avoidance, money status, and money vigilance)  are only underlying assumptions or beliefs about money that are often developed in childhood and are unconsciously followed throughout adulthood. We can address this by identifying your behavior in certain situations and asking ourselves which money script you are most likely similar to.

Jen could see herself in the money status when in an unhealthy state. While this was the opposite approach from her parents, Jen would compare her net worth to others and feel a lack of self-worth. 

What To Do If Your Parents Didn’t Save for Retirement

If you see your parent’s approach to money similar to any money script, they probably didn’t save money in the future for all sorts of reasons. Let’s fill up the gaps on things we don’t know with this article from The Balance Money as they try to help us with practical things for when our parents didn’t save for retirement. 

What Jen + Jill have to say:

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, half of all adults between the ages of 55 and 66 have no retirement savings. Start with having a conversation to learn about the current financial details. For Jen, this reduces shame and blame and avoids making it about you. You may ask open-ended questions to invoke specific conversations about money and retirement. Encourage parents to minimize debt and expenses while maximizing income. 

Jill advises writing a retirement budget by reviewing your retirement income and liquid savings. Make sure your parents have retirement accounts, and they should take advantage of the government resources and benefits they could get with their age. Remember that it’s a long game, so we need to thread things carefully when encouraging our parents to start with their retirement plans. 

Did you know your parents or family’s financial situation when you were growing up and in what way did it influence you?

Jill was always so confused by the concept of “cash-back” as a kid. 

Meanwhile, Jen adds that most parents think it’s a way of protecting their children by not talking about money For Jen, this has affected her in a way she realized that her parents did not have debt, but they also didn’t have good credit.

Bill of The Week

THANK YOU Lisa for sharing your bill about fixing your car without spending too much money (the ‘nubin’ that ‘gets the radio’). Well done DIY-ing your fix!

Thanks so Much for Listening!

Thanks so much for listening! Many of you know we have a private community where we do monthly money challenges and offer accountability groups. We want to congratulate one of our members for a big win:

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My husband needed a new debit card.

He just called me from the bank. This is a national bank. Very well known. They told him debit cards are no longer safe and to only do a credit card. What?! He called me and I told him debit card only because we’ve been in credit card debt before. I can’t believe that a huge bank is doing this. They even told him he could get a $200 bonus.

I just don’t want to ever be in debt again. I know we can pay it off each month, but trust me, I don’t have the discipline to not go crazy. It’s behavior and I know I can have a credit card.

Congrats for knowing your boundaries, Kristie!

Thanks for listening and if you want to check out our membership where we have all kinds of courses, interviews, challenges, and more head to frugalfriendspodcast.com/club to check it out.

And don’t forget to share your favorite quote from the episode by using the hashtag #FrugalFriendsNote. 😉

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