Friendship is one of the best parts of life. The inside jokes. The last minute plans. The Facetime calls that turn into therapy sessions. Our people keep us grounded, lifted, and laughing.
But friendships can also cost us money in ways we don’t always realize.
Not because someone’s trying to pressure us, but because connection is powerful. And so is FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). And that can get expensive.
Let’s talk about the sneaky way our friendships—yes, even the most wholesome, well-meaning ones—can derail our financial goals.
This isn’t about blaming anyone. It’s about awareness and meeting our needs WITHOUT overspending.
💕 Relational Capital and Social Spending
There’s a behavioral dynamic at play here—and it’s not about money. It’s about relational capital.
That’s the time, energy, and resources we invest into (and receive from) relationships to feel connected, valued, and secure.
Sometimes we spend money in order to build up that capital. For instance:
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Buying a gift for a friend’s birthday dinner (and a new outfit to wear).
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Agreeing to a weekend trip we can’t really afford.
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Grabbing coffee even when we’re already over budget, just to say yes to time together.
Why? Because we don’t want to miss out. Not just on the activity, but on the connection. The inside jokes. The “you had to be there” stories. That’s what makes FOMO so powerful—it’s never just about the money. It’s about belonging.
Here’s where it gets tricky: When we let unconscious spending become the cost of connection, we end up draining both our wallets and our peace of mind.
But when we start noticing these patterns, we can shift from reacting to choosing.
We can still show up for our people—but in ways that don’t sabotage our financial goals.
🫱🏻🫲🏼 Try This: Look for Free Ways to Build Relational Capital
Next time you’re tempted to spend money 💰 just to spend time ⏰, ask: “Is there another way I can feel connected, valued, secure without spending money?”
Maybe the free option is:
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Cook a new recipe together
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Attend a local free concert
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Take a walk at a park
Maybe the free option doesn’t work. But either way, you’re back in the driver’s seat. And if you do say ‘yes’ to spending money, at least let it be a smarter yes.
We’re big fans of Brad’s Deals for exactly this reason. They round up verified discounts on the things you’re already buying while keeping you updated on ways to save on everything from shoes and kitchen gadgets to furniture and travel! ✈️
Simply sign up for their email list and you’ll be instantly in the know on the current best prices available for the things on your shopping list. **
Leaning into your “I deserve” mentality sounds great right? Sure, so long as it doesn’t mean it keeps you settling for less. Listen to the last Sunday Reset episode to learn the difference between the toxic I deserve mentality and spending in alignment with your worth!
Ever thought you couldn’t tackle that home project without the help of a contractor? Tune into Tuesday’s episode for the extra encouragement to give it a try! How to Save Money on a Kitchen Remodel with DeLancey Carson | DIY Kitchen Renovation Tips! (Ep 506)
We know you love some good food cost saving strategies, so we got you covered with more ideas in today’s episode: How to Save Money on Food: Takeout, Restaurants, & More! (Ep 507)
Tune in wherever you get podcasts and let us know what you thought of the episode over on our latest Instagram post!
✅ Read: The Honeymoon Crashers by Christina Lauren for another quick, feel good read! 📖
✅ Watch: The Last of Us on Max!
✅ Challenge: Post something in your local no-buy group. Or if you don’t have a local buy nothing group, start one!
✅ Meal Prep: High Protein Chicken Lettuce Wraps (PF Chang’s Copycat) by One Happy Bite 🥬
Just getting started with budgeting? Ready to feel more in control of your money?
This mobile-optimized Spending Planner is here to help you do both. It makes it easier to track your spending, set goals, and actually stick to them.
And did we mention that it comes with a 60-page Values-Based Spending Guide to help you spend with intention and not guilt? Grab it now.
Warmly,
Misti
⭐️⭐️ P.S. Want to share all this goodness with your friends AND earn cool Frugal Friends merch?
**Means this is a sponsored or affiliate section. We may earn a small fee or commission when you choose to try one of our sponsor or affiliate partners. But opinions are still 1000% our own.
