Apple Podcasts
Google Podcasts
Spotify
StitcherDo money conversations make you uneasy? Today, we invited behavioral financial expert and author Carl Richards to unpack what this missing skill is and why it changes everything about the way we manage money. We’ll explore why most of us never learned it, how it impacts every financial decision we make, and what small habits can help you finally feel in control of it.
We don’t have to understand someone to care about them but knowing these contexts helps with creating empathy about how we approach these conversations.
Carl Richards is a Certified Financial Planner and former New York Times columnist. Author of two must-reads on financial management: The Behavior Gap and The One-Page Financial Plan. His latest release, Your Money: Reimagining Wealth in 101 Simple Sketches, isn’t just a book, he calls it a “conversation grenade.”
Talking About Money is a Skill Worth Learning
Money talks can be tough because they touch on values, identity, power, and control, making them a top source of conflict in relationships. People try to avoid this topic out of shame or fear of judgment considering that income, debt, or goals often feels taboo.
But according to Jen and Jill, it’s a skill worth learning. Research shows that open, honest money conversations lower financial anxiety, improve saving habits, and strengthen relationships. Moreso, when parents talk about money transparently, their kids grow up with better financial literacy and healthier money attitudes.
The Difference Between Those Who Talk About Money and Those Who Don’t
Carl talks about how when we think about talking about money, we often assume it’s all about math and the numbers, budgets, and spreadsheets. But when we bring it up with a partner, friend, or family member, it usually turns into an argument. That’s because money talk always stirs up feelings.
What he noticed is that people who talk openly about money already expect emotions to surface. They’ve accepted that it’s not just a numbers conversation, it’s one with feelings too. And when they learn to notice those emotions and still act with intention, that’s already a major step toward healthier money communication. He also suggests taking a “time out” during tense conversations, giving each person space to pause, reset, and return with more respect and understanding.
How Do We Know It’s Safe to Start Conversations About Money
Carl suggests starting money conversations by first asking yourself what you’re trying to solve or what your goal is instead of jumping straight to numbers. Maybe the goal is simply to gain perspective, or maybe it’s a problem that needs specific figures. Either way, focusing too much on numbers can make the other person miss the point of the conversation.
To gently test the waters, he recommends asking about the other person’s earliest memory of money. It’s a gentle way to understand their feelings around money without pressure. You can keep it surface-level or go deeper, depending on comfort. This approach builds empathy and helps you better appreciate where the other person is coming from.
The Impact of Honest Money Conversations
According to Carl, the first thing to expect is that it is going to take a lot of work. It can be the hardest conversation you will have but also will be a relief. Because of this relief, you can expect yourself to become more comfortable with handling money, making budgeting and financial decisions feel easier over time. He greatly emphasizes that we are not bad with money, we are just asking the wrong questions.
What's your earliest memory about money?
Jen remembers her parents arguing about money and they called it a “loud discussion.” Meanwhile, Jill thinks her memory of money was shaped by phrases like “we can’t afford it,” growing up with hand-me-down clothes, skipping items at the grocery store, or hearing, “Let me see if I have a coupon.”
Get more from Carl
Instagram: @behaviorgap
Website: https://behaviorgap.com/
Book: Your Money
Bill of The Week
Thanks Taylore for sharing your bill about saving $50 on a flight to Portugal!
Thanks so Much for Listening!
Thanks so much for listening. We love love love reading your kind reviews of our book Buy What You Love Without Going Broke and we especially loved this one from:
✰✰✰✰✰
Advice that anyone can use and feel accomplished
What I like about this book and the authors, is that they give practical advice they can apply to everyone. You can begin to feel like you’re understanding how to manage your money, get out of debt make plans for the future. And not like you through everything away and wasted your time. You also get the sets that is written by real everyday people. Which is exactly what Jenn and Jill are. I highly recommend checking this book out.
If you want to check out our monthly challenge community head to frugalfriendspodcast.com/club to see what challenge we have coming up next.
And keep leaving us reviews on iTunes or Stitcher, and sending the screenshot to reviews@frugalfriendspodcast.com. And don’t forget to share your favorite quote from the episode by using the hashtag #FrugalFriendsNote. 
