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StitcherYour overspending may not be your fault. We don’t think it’s an inherent shortcoming or due to lack of self discipline and promise you it is within your power to fix it. In today’s episode, we’re walking you through the four steps you need to finally stop overspending, the same framework we teach in our book and use ourselves.
Spending is what you do, not who you are.
Reframe Your Identity
Jill says that being a spender or a saver myth is a lie because ultimately, spending is a skill. Because we are all a spender and a saver all at the same time. Therefore Jen says that it is essential that we can identify our identity before brands can sell us an identity that does not even align with our values.
They also emphasize the difference of what overspending is and what it’s not. They said that it is spending more than you want on a category of items or services and not your identity, something that everybody does, and it is most definitely not inevitable.
Reveal Your Real Patterns
Jill says you can’t stop overspending until you understand why you overspend. She recommends starting by looking for patterns in your spending using a 90-Day Transaction Inventory. Jen demonstrates how to do this and it’s as easy as combining all your expenses in a spreadsheet and adding two columns: one for how you felt about each purchase and another for what you actually got from it. This exercise will help reveal the reasons behind spending on things you don’t truly love.
Build Your ‘Radical Middle’ Spending Plan
Jen highlights that values-based spending is not about extremes because it never works out. Rather, it’s about the radical middle—choosing what to say yes to and what to say no to intentionally. They invite Rose Han to give a fresh perspective on spending and guide us towards finding our radical middle.
Redesign Your Environment
According to Buy What You Love Without Going Broke, stopping overspending isn’t about willpower it’s about changing your environment, both inside and out. Internally, try challenging thoughts like “I deserve it” or “It’s only $20” and meet your needs for safety, belonging, and esteem in non-purchase ways, using Maslow’s hierarchy as a guide. Externally, declutter digital temptations by unsubscribing from emails and deleting apps, reduce “manufactured desire” in your physical space, and surround yourself with people who honor your values, not your purchases.
✨ Join the 90-Day Debt Free Fast Track!
From Jan 1–Mar 31, join Jen & Jill for 4 live classes, 3 challenges, 2 books, and 1 shared goal — $100,000 of debt paid down in our community!
Live coaching, community accountability, and instant access to The Financial Reset (a $297 bonus course!).
🎁 Early Bird $149 (Dec 5–16)
💸 Regular $199 (Dec 17–Jan 7)
🎉 Surprise goodies for first-week enrollees!
How has your life changed since the book was published?
Jen loves that she can sign her book at stores and see it available in libraries. For Jill, no matter what life throws at her, knowing she accomplished the big feat of writing a book gives her a deep sense of contentment.
Bill of The Week
Thank you Sarah for sharing your bill about no longer needing to buy menstruation products because your work provides them
Thanks so Much for Listening!
Thanks so much for listening. We love love love reading your kind reviews of our book Buy What You Love Without Going Broke and we especially loved this one from:
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This book was entertaining and easy to digest! I’ve been a Frugal Friends podcast listener for years now, and I still learned new concepts with this book. Jen and Jill offer tangible tips and a call to action at the end of every chapter. I love their simple approach to managing spending and building a life that aligns with your values, while still offering grace for our humanity. An easy read that I’ll be revisiting on a regular basis!
If you want to check out our monthly challenge community head to frugalfriendspodcast.com/club to see what challenge we have coming up next.
Keep leaving us reviews on iTunes or Stitcher, and sending the screenshot to reviews@frugalfriendspodcast.com. And don’t forget to share your favorite quote from the episode by using the hashtag #FrugalFriendsNote. 😉